A Test of Will
by August08
Summary: Takes place after A Foot Too Big. Raph has been wondering if there was another reason why Leo didn't want to join in on the turtle hunt and asks his brother about it. The answer he gets is not what he was expecting. One-shot. 2012 'verse.


**A/N**: This was inspired by something calloutdrummer1247 mentioned on Stealthy Stories about if there was another reason why Leo didn't join in on the turtle hunt in A Foot Too Big. This is my reasoning. Hope you enjoy it.

**Disclaimer**: I own nothing

* * *

Raphael stood in the doorway of Leonardo's room. His brother was sitting on the bed, his back to the door. Something had been bothering him for the last couple of days, and he was finally able to corner his blue masked brother after the events with Bigfoot. However, Raphael found himself frozen to his spot in the doorway. For some reason he couldn't make himself move further into the room. He had questions that needed to be answered; but he felt a twinge of fear in his stomach for wanting to know the answer to his questions.

"Are you going to stand there all day?" Leonardo asked. "Or are you actually planning on coming in some time today?"

Raphael took a deep breath and slowly let it out as he stepped over the threshold of the room. There was no turning back now. He needed answers; whether he wanted them or not. Leonardo looked over his shoulder, his blue eyes searching.

"Thought you'd be with Mikey and Donnie," he said.

Raphael shrugged, but didn't say anything. Leonardo narrowed his eyes slightly. He only got that look when he knew something was bothering his brothers.

"What's up?" Leonardo asked.

"I...uh...I don't..." Raphael stumbled over his tongue. He growled in frustration.

Leonardo blinked, a look of patience taking over his features. Raphael felt his stomach twist. It was the same look that Splinter would give him whenever he went off on one of his tangents. Raphael was again reminded of everything that they had lost and heat began to burn behind his eyes.

"Take your time," Leonardo instructed as though he were talking to a child just learning to speak.

_Just ask him and get it over with,_ Raphael snapped at himself. "Why didn't you want to join in on the turtle hunt?" he finally managed to ask.

"I wasn't up to it," Leonardo replied.

"Cut the bull, Leo," Raphael said. "I saw it in your eyes. There's another reason why you didn't want to join."

Leonardo swallowed thickly and looked away; a strange look clouding his eyes. Fear clenched its icy fingers around Raphael's heart and squeezed. He wanted nothing more than to turn tail and run out of the room so fast Leonardo wouldn't have time to answer. But, he had to know. It ate at Raphael to the point that it was starting to drive him crazy.

"I had to be sure," Leonardo mumbled softly.

"Be sure of what?" Raphael asked uncertainly.

Leonardo's shoulders drooped and he sighed; a pained look washing over his face. "I had to be sure that you were ready."

The fear was making him sick. "Ready for...?" Raphael pressed.

"To lead," Leonardo answered. He turned his back to his brother. "I had to make sure Donnie and Mikey were in good hands."

_How do you breathe again?_ Raphael asked himself. "What are you talking about?"

Leonardo seemed to shrink inside his shell. "I may never be the same again," he said. "I might never be able to fight like I used to. Donnie and Mikey need someone to look out for them, to have their backs in a fight. I can't do that...and I probably never will." Leonardo looked over his shoulder, anguish shining in his eyes. "They need a leader, Raph."

"Then get better and be a leader," Raphael said.

"I could barely hold my own against the Creep," Leonardo pointed out. "You guys were dragged off because I was too weak to do anything about it." He turned away again. "Let's face it, Raph. I'll never be able to keep any of you safe. The team deserves a competent leader."

"And you think that's me?" Raphael asked incredulously. "Do you _know_ me?"

"You've been able to do a better job at training Donnie and Mikey than I ever could," Leonardo told him. "You were able to adapt quicker to the new environment than anyone else. You've come a long way since we first started out. You'd make a great leader."

Raphael shook his head, not believing what he was hearing. "Are you listening to yourself, Leo?" he asked, walking around the bed to look down at his brother. "This is crazy talk."

Leonardo looked up. "This is rational talk," he argued. "I can't walk right. Let alone fight. Right now I'd just end up getting everyone killed."

Raphael growled under his breath. "Then stop your whining and get better," he snapped. "Splinter would never agree to this. He never did."

"Splinter's not here, Raphael," Leonardo reminded his brother. "And even if he was, he'd agree that a replacement is needed."

"But not me," Raphael declared. "Donnie would make a better leader than me."

"Donnie can't handle his own problems, let alone another person's," Leonardo pointed out.

Raphael swallowed down the bile that was creeping up in his throat. "The last time you appointed me leader I almost got Mikey killed," he said hoarsely.

"But, you've learned since then," Leonardo replied. "I've seen you training, Raph. You're not the same hot-headed turtle that challenged my every order." Desperation shone in his blue eyes. "Raph, please. I need you to say that you'll be leader. I can't do it, anymore."

"Yes you will," Raphael proclaimed. "You're going to get back on your feet and you're going to lead this team again."

"But..."

"But, until then," Raphael cut in, more calmly. "I'll help you out and be substitute leader. But, once you're back on your feet this team is all yours again." He held out his hand. "Deal?"

Leonardo thought about it for a moment. It was as good as he was going to get from Raphael. Leonardo took his brother's hand and shook it.

"Deal," he said.

* * *

Reviews are welcome, flames are not


End file.
